Meditation, for me, is learning to get out of my own way. I sit and try to empty my brain of all thought. I practice letting go.
The thoughts that float through my mind are an indication of what my brain finds interesting and worthwhile to focus on. In other words, they are showing me what I are attached to. It could be work, it could be worry, it could my to-do list, and it can even be things I’m looking forward to in the future.
These often aren’t bad things to think about, and sometimes I’ll even gain some really useful insight on the object of my rumination. But this isn’t the point of meditation. Quite the opposite, in fact.
To me, meditation is about clearing out the debris that blocks my relationship to God (feel free to substitute Life, the Universe, and Everything, if that suits you better. I’m not hung up on labels, “God” for me is just shorthand for “the ever-present field of love energy that pervades everything in the universe”). The goal is to make myself more flexible and receptive, and less ego-driven. I want to become more loving, more useful to others, more peaceful, more graceful in how I move through the world.
When I focus on short-term goals, or accomplishments, or “to-do’s” that often means I’m going against the grain. I’m saying, “my own will be done, not God’s.” Historically, that has produced a lot of frustration, stress, and loneliness. I’m tired of doing things that way.
That focus on “self-will” is like an addiction. It works in the short term, or at least it seems to. I check off all the items on my to-do list, I get what I want, and I almost feel like I’ve performed a minor feat of magic. But after even a few days of living this way, treating meditation as little more than a brainstorming session, I get worn out. I feel like I can never stop, like I have to keep going. I feel like an addict chasing their next hit. I wonder how many other people are living like that without realizing it. It’s an exhausting way to be.
By letting go of each thought that enters my mind in meditation, I am learning a slower, more elegant way of moving in the world. One where I can be present and helpful to what is right in front of me, rather than chasing my own ambitious tail. I feel relaxed, calm, unhurried. And yet I get more done. Or rather, I get fewer things done, but what I do really matters. My actions are higher quality, more enduring, and more helpful.
The key is letting go of all the things that seem so important and urgent in the moment, so that I can focus on what really matters in the long run. And often, this isn’t my own design. In developing a conscious connection to this life force (which I call God), the right thing to do materializes right in front of me. I don’t have to create an elaborate long term strategy, or figure out the right sequence of accomplishments to achieve my goals. I don’t have to feel threatened by others, nor try to manipulate situations so that I get what I want. I just show up, try to be helpful, try to make good decisions in the moment, and let go of the outcome.
Man, what a relief that is. A much easier, more relaxed way to go through life.