It’s easy for a young person thinking about starting their career to see nothing but limitations. One job application after another goes unanswered (a friend of mine once filled out 100 applications online and heard back from fewer than 10 of them), because all the interviews and job offers go to people who already have a relationship to the company. Thus, many a millenial (perhaps accurately) complains that they don’t have the right connections to do what they want.
But that’s the wrong thing to focus on.
The broad problem with useless attitudes is that they fixate on things that are out of your control, while stealing attention away from what you can do to change your situation. In this case, the biggest thing you can do is build relationships.
Relationships grow over time. First, it takes time to build up the trust and familiarity that makes relationships truly valuable over the long term. Second, everyone knows someone else they can connect you with, so your number of contacts will grow. Third, as you spend more time doing this, you’ll get better at it (meaning you’ll come across less creepy, less desperate, more interesting to talk to, more charming, etc). This skillset is not trivial, and can have an incredible impact on your long term professional development. So even if you don’t know how to grow your connections, start learning.
First of all, odds are good that you have connections you don’t realize yet. Ask everyone you know if they can introduce you to people in the areas you’re interested in. Friends, parents, teachers, old bosses, mentors…They all want to see you succeed and be happy. Not all of them will be able to help you right away, but ask them to keep their eyes out for you and you’ll be amazed at what they turn up.
The other option is to grow your connections inorganically. Although “inorganic” sounds rigid, fake, and artificial, it can be surprisingly effective.
How do you build a new network from scratch? Basically, when you’re starting out, cold-calling. During college, I learned that you can reach out to almost any stranger via email, and if not email, phone. As I learned in my podcast with Laura Amiton, the average email has an open rate of around 3%. However, I have found that roughly half of the people I’ve emailed have given me a thoughtful, valuable response. The same should be true for you if you do it right (I’ll put an article out on this in the weeks to come). The fact that 50% of people not only opened the email, but replied to it should tell you that they are indeed happy to help you. If it feels weird to email a total stranger, do it anyway, the numbers are in your favor and you’re guaranteed to learn something about talking to people.
If you’re still on the fence about this technique, consider what they see: a young, motivated person looking for a way to learn and grow. That’s exactly the kind of person most people want to help! Odds are, they were once like you, and have been waiting for 20 years to return the favor. All it costs them is 30 minutes of their day to set you on a better life trajectory. Helping you feels good!
So meet up with them, do your thing, and at the end, ask if there’s anyone else that they’d recommend for you to talk to. Afterward, send them an email saying thank you. If it’s a relationship you’d like to nurture for the longer term, check in a few weeks later to check in, bring them up to date on what you’re doing, ask how they are doing, and say thank you again.
It’s very much in your power to get out of the pit of social nothingness. So get started.